This Month…

This Month I should be preparing for you to arrive.
This Month I should be feeling you swirl and tap dance in my tummy.
This Month I should be washing and rewashing your tiny clothes eager to put you into them.
This Month I should be fed up with pregnancy; groaning daily and eager for it to be over.
This Month I should be eating my body weight in pickled onions or other foods I crave.
This Month I should be talking to you repeatedly through the skin that parts us.
This Month I should be counting down the days until you arrive.
This Month I should be too big to drive around in my car.
This Month I should be complaining of heartburn and swollen ankles.
This Month I should be on maternity leave, enjoying the thought of the months ahead.
This Month your brothers should be welcoming a new sibling, someone they would love.
This Month I should be holding you for the first time in my arms after you have been born.
This Month I should be bringing you home to add a very welcome addition to our family.

 

Instead…

This Month I am plastering a smile on my face and trying to act like I am okay.
This Month I am crying almost daily at the days and memories I wont be able to make.
This Month I am picturing what you would have looked like and long for you painfully.
This Month I am carrying on at my work; trying to forget that I lost you.
This Month I am carrying on for my boys, and not showing them how sad I am.
This Month I am trying to push onwards and hoping April will be better.
This Month I sneak glances up at your memory box before I go to bed each night, knowing that your ashes are safely stored away in it.

This Month I miss you; I never had you, but I miss what you would have meant to us. I miss what you would have brought to our family and I miss the memories we wont now be able to make.

This Month I love you as I would have if you were here, but This Month I ache for you.

I lost you months before now, but This Month you should be Born.

Always thinking of you; always missing you, always wanting you. Never forgetting.

S x

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “This Month…

Add yours

    1. Thankyou and sorry all at the same time. Thanks for your kind words and sorry that you have suffered too. It’s not easy, I thought it would get easier and at times it feels like it but there is always something to remind me. Big hugs to you 💕

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to lovesdeepwaters Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Inner Peace

True wealth is the wealth of the soul

Nico’s Domain - Ignorance Is Bliss

Day-dreamer and servant of God

Rebel for the hell of it

Write to express

Un_maestro

A deviant among Sheep providing knowledge to stimulate the mind and poetry to stimulate the soul

tinytotspoetry

I AIM TO PLEASE THE YOUNG AND YOUNG AT HEART WITH POEMS DESIGNED FOR KIDS. READ ALONG WITH YOUR SMALL TOTS FOR FUN.. LET'S MAKE RHYMING FUN AND EXCITING!!!

TheGeminiJournalist

Jamaican Author

A Story About Waffles

Words, followed by more words.

Miscellany Pages

Book Blog with Variety - Expand Your Reading Horizons

A cup of coffee

Thank you for visiting my page! I am Earl and this page is a world of confessions from nobody which aims to share spectrum of feelings and inspiration that are reflected in the works of letters.

Laura's Books and Blogs

Writing tips, giveaways, reviews, essays, and more!

Nin Chronicles

Writers Are Parents

Live a Laptop Life Style - ZADA -

Blogging - Writing - Affiliate Marketing - Tech & Tools - & Self Esteem

One More Word

Jules_Writes

Mosun Writers

Your Best Writing Website.

written by C.A.

lifestyle, beauty, travelling experiences and more

The Godly Chic Diaries

BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH

ACCREDITED SENIOR PSYCHOTHERAPIST/COUNSELLOR -Dr.Fawzy Masaoud-LONDON, ENGLAND

NO DESPAIR WITH LIFE AND NO LIFE WITH DESPAIR . Email: dr.fawzyclinic2019@yahoo.com

%d bloggers like this: