Day 3: 30 Day Flash Fiction Challenge
‘The Language of Flowers, Pyjamas, a secret passageway’.
The Blossoming Weed
by Stephanie Geary
Stretching my arms above my head, I straighten my body as far as it will go, working out all the tiny kinks and aches that comes from lying in the same position all night. The strong smell of flowers surrounds me, and I breathe in its heady scent, furrowing my brow and try to think where the scent could be coming from. My neck is feeling less than normal today, and I wonder at how awkward I must have lay in my sleep for it to be hurting the way it does.
I open my eyes slowly, trying to shield them from the bright white light that is shining through my bedroom window. My mind is racing, I have woken up out of sleep and I am struggling to remember where I am, who I am or what I am. My head hurts and my fingers feel stiff and lifeless. I push myself up into a sitting position and look sideways at the blazing sunshine outside. I frown as I remember that its late December and that there shouldn’t be this much sun.
The inside of my mouth feels dry and I search aimlessly around the bed for a drink. I shield my eyes from the glow that is almost overpowering, and I stand up feebly as I aim to head to the kitchen to grab me some water. I rub my neck to try to release some of the tension that I can feel, but it doesn’t help much. The pain is not unbearable, but it isn’t pleasant either. I step through the doorway, the smell of flowers getting stronger; I try to remember if I brought any flowers that day or if anybody had brought any for me, but then I remember that 1) I don’t really like flowers and 2) I don’t have anybody in my life that would buy me any. In fact, I don’t have anybody full stop…suddenly my head spins and I feel completely disorientated. I close my eyes briefly as I try to steady myself.
Slowly, I open my eyes and I stare dumbfounded at my surroundings. The room I should find myself in is the kitchenette/living area, but the area I stand in looks unfamiliar. Everything from the décor to the shape of the room is wrong. My mind is spinning as I try desperately to understand what is happening, but I feel blank. My nerves are stretched, and I anxiously turn around on the spot trying to find something that I recognise. It is as though I have stepped through a secret passageway and stumbled onto a place that is unknown. And yet, I see my framed photographs on the hearth, and I see my pink ‘Girls Rulez’ mug on the coaster near the sofa but everything about this place feels wrong and disjointed.
I place my hands on the wall and hold myself up as I close my eyes against the tidal wave of panic that is threatening to spill out of me. I breathe in and out and concentrate on my counting as my councillor has advised. The room around me is spinning and I feel myself losing control. Tears well at the corner of my eyes as fragments of memories rush at me with astounding speed. My abusive parents, my destroyed childhood, my substance abuse, my recovery in rehab, my councillor meetings, my endless talks about how unfair my life is, my tears and anger at how unhappy I am. Flying at me like bats that have been disturbed in a cave, my memories crash into me and gradually start coming together. And then all is still. I remember.
Turning around and facing the bedroom doorway again I step gingerly back through it knowing what I will see. Everything is making sense now. The aching and stiffness in my limbs from lack of blood supply. The dry mouth from the gurgling last breaths I took. The pain in my neck caused by the rope which I used to hang myself. And there in the corner, silhouetted by the bright unearthly glow is my pyjama clad body, knees touching the floor and my head resting to the side hanging from a rope which is tethered to the top of my wardrobe.
I realise that I no longer feel anything. No pain, no remorse, no shame, no pity, no anger, no dread.
I feel nothing.
I simply am.
This is peace. This is what I was hoping for.
And then suddenly, the bright white light surrounds me and all at once I fade away and join the people who reside in the glow and amongst them all are vast amounts of beautiful blue violets.