Torturing myself

I spent a good portion of my night thinking about the people in my life. I lost out on sleep and managed to get a mere 4 hours before I had to take boys to school.

Like many people, I have those that support me and those that don’t. I went through scenarios and battles that I should have either avoided or done more about. I have people who would go that extra mile for me, and who I would do the same…..and then I have others who can’t be bothered. People who put their own needs and feelings before others.

And I ask myself….why do I torture myself about it all?

Why do I constantly fret over who likes me and who doesn’t? Why do I put myself out there, just to feel rejection and hurt? I have been through some shitty stuff over the past few years, more than anyone should deal with in any one lifetime….and it has made me realise who I can count on 100% and who lets me down time and time again. I should turn away and not let them get to me, but it’s hard! I am going to start looking after me and mine. I will give the same amount of support to those who give it to me…..match support with support. And then see how long it takes before I hear any complaints….

I have a busy year ahead of me, and I want to focus on moving towards a brighter, future and career. I need to learn to shake the negative people off!

2 thoughts on “Torturing myself

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  1. For some of us, I think it’s easier to care greatly and for others, it’s easier to care greatly about themselves. For us who care a lot about others, we have to make sure we are putting that same effort in our own lives, which can be easy to forget.

    I wish you luck in your future endeavors and live like no one is watching 🙂.

    Liked by 1 person

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