What Do I want to be?


 

What do I want to do?
Who do I want to be?

I wake to the feeling that something is missing, but my life is already on key.

Loving husband with me, small children times 2.

Living happily, comfortably and without worry.

But I skit from one career option to the next.
Not knowing where my goals lie.

One day I wake and I want to help bring life into the world; picturing myself as a midwife.

Another day I wake; I see myself working within TV.

Some days I want to make money from playing around with my camera or from writing things down on paper.

Not one day is the same, my thoughts and wants change.

I have taken up blogging to help me to reach out; to create a following that is fake and unreliable. What can these people give me that I don’t already possess? I want to be liked; I want people to believe in the words I preach and the things I create.

But I fail to believe that I belong in this world. Fake Smiles, Fake Follows, Fake comments on posts; nobody cares completely for what I write; they only take time to reach out so that I will return the favour. Minutes, hours and days are spent creating ideas in my head for future posts on my blog; knowing that it may not be seen by many, most possibly less than ten.

 As each day chugs past I try to pin down one area that I prefer over another, but no answer comes. I have so many different likes that I struggle to find one area I love more than the rest.

Tomorrow I may pull the answer from my head.

But for today I will hum and ahh about my future; success is what I dream of, but for what I am not sure.

 


 

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